The Lord Of The Wings
by Estel Fir
Summary: This was a Creative Writing assignment. Basically it is a spoof on the Lord of the Rings... it also has a slight Monty Python twist.


"I will take it," said Dodo, the little swallow, "I will take the coconut to Mercia... though I do not know the way."

All eyes turned to him and stared in shock and doubt. An old raven named Gallon looked at Dodo with respect.

"I," he stepped forward to stand behind Dodo, "will help you bear this burden, Dodo Sackouts. As long as it is yours to bear." The graying old raven's courage seemed to encourage the other birds congregated in the council. Soon a king pelican stood and stepped forward, bowing low to meet the swallow's gaze.

"If by my life or death I can protect you, I will. You have my beak." Murmurs of shock and awe swept through the gathered company. What an honor to have Nrogara, heir to the thrown of the Gonwindowians at your side.

"And you have my crow," said an elegant flamingo by the name of Armymore. He stepped forward to stand behind Dodo, soon to be followed by a pigeon, Ilmig.

"And my a--," said the dopey pigeon. He chewed grudgingly on a seedcake, muttering about loading the canon. A pelican stood up and walked slowly toward the growing crowd.

"You carry the coconuts of us all, little one," Rimorob said darkly. He gazed at the arranged birds before him then turned to Enrold, "If this is indeed the will of the Council, then Gonwindow will see it done."

Suddenly, from behind a leafy branch flew a rather fat swallow. He quickly landed next to Dodo and stared defiantly at Enrold.

"Mr. Dodo isn't going anywhere without me!"

"No, indeed," said Enrold, looking over the pudgy bird, "it is hardly possible to separate you, Masfool, from Dodo, even when he is summoned to a secret Council, and you are not."

"Oi!" a bush behind them seemed to say. Two smaller, thinner swallows came swooping out and into view, perching indignantly on the other side of Dodo. "We're coming too! You'll have to send us home bound by our wings to stop us." exclaimed Jovial, the older and slightly taller of the two.

"Anyway, you need birds of intelligence on this sort of mission. Quest. Thing." Kestrel folded his wings in front of him and smiled "intelligently" at Enrold.

"Well that rules you out, Kes." Muttered Jovial under his breath. Kestrel nodded approvingly, then seemed to look dumbstruck as what Jovial meant hit him.

"Nine companions. So be it! You shall be the Fellowship of the Wings." Enrold puffed up with pride as he spoke. But soon the mischievous Kestrel piped in with his opinion.

"That's great! Where are we going?" All looked at him disapprovingly as he looked innocently at Enrold, awaiting an answer. Jovial smacked him on the back of the head and glared at him.

* * *

And so the birds set out, flying across the countryside, over rivers, lakes, and streams. 

They flew through a cave system (lord knows why) and down in the depths of the earth they lost the old raven. You know old people, their sight is bad enough already, but then stick them in a tunnel winding this way and that and there is really no hope that they'll come out.

So anyways, the rest come out alive and whatnot and stay a few months with the flamingoes of Lostlerion, wasting time while the Great House-Fly of Rotoff builds his armies and spreads his evil.

Finally they departed. The pelican, Rimorob, was killed by a pack of vultures as they stopped to camp by a river. Jovial and Kestrel are captured, Dodo and Masfool continued on to Mercia, and Armymore, Ilmig, and Nrogara followed the trail of the vultures that captured Jovial and Kestrel.

Battles happened, Gallon returns, more battles happened. They moved on from Roadhog to Cap Shallow, and another, larger battle happened. They won and returned to Roadhog victoious. And so, the two swallows, the flamingo, the raven, the pigeon, and the king pelican are all reunited. Kestrel then did something stupid as if that was out of the ordinary).

"Fool of a Koot!" yelled Gallon. "You must come with me now!" And so Gallon and Kestrel left for Gonwindow. The Great House-Fly of Rotoff sent a large army, larger than the last, and Gonwindow got attacked. The armies of Roadhog arrived, then more fighting happened.

* * *

In the meantime the two swallows headed for Mercia had encountered a creature that used to be a swallow named Croakie. The creature betrayed them. Dodo got hurt and Masfool thought he'd died. But Masfool is a fool for Dodo was not dead. 

Masfool rescued Dodo from the vultures, returned the coconut to him and they went back on their way to Mercia.

* * *

Gonwindow won the battle and Nrogara was leading the armies to the White Fence to take the focus off of Masfool and Dodo. 

A big battle happened in the course of which Masfool and Dodo made it to Mercia. Suddenly Dodo was overcome by the power of the coconuts.

"Drop It!" pleaded Masfool with Dodo. "Go on! Now! Throw It on the ground! What are you waiting for! Just let It go!"

Dodo looked at the coconut, he just couldn't do it. He turned and looked at Masfool, malfeasance in his eyes.

"The coconut it mine!" He yelled.

Suddenly, though, out of nowhere Croakie appeared and took the coconut from Dodo. Cheering brightly Croakie flew away from them.

"Precious is mine! Mine! All mine!"

But just as quickly as he had grabbed the coconut from Dodo he fell from the sky. An arrow had cloven the coconut in two and pierced Croakie through the middle.

A human picked up the two coconut halves and banged them together a little, making a horse-like sound. Another human with a crown of gold on his brow began to 'canter' in front of him.

"Humans sure are queer creatures." Said Masfool as he and Dodo headed home.

* * *

Meanwhile the Great House-Fly of Rotoff was suddenly swatted and his armies fell into chaos. 

There were many celebrations. Nrogara took his rightful place as king of Gonwindow. He married a beautiful lady flamingo named Esthen.

Dodo, Gallon, Enrold and Dodo's uncle Billhole all flew away to a place of peace across the sea.

Eventually everyone in the fellowship died. And that is where the story ends. Because there's no one left to follow.


End file.
